A few months ago while I was at a friends house, a commercial came on her television for an upcoming episode of a show called, “Moment of Truth” where a very large woman asked a young man sitting in a chair on a stage, “Do fat people repulse you?”? Cue the dramatic music and fade to commercial.
I didn’t comment on it at the time with my friend, though I admit, both our eyes were glued to the television hoping we’d get to see what this man had to say about it. Of course the point of a television teaser for a show is to get you to tune in, so I just assumed by the look on his face and the way he squirmed a bit that his answer was yes.
For some reason this morning I was compelled to do a search on the internet and sure enough, fat people DO repulse him. It made my head spin at the number of results that Yahoo! brought up on the subject. It seems more than 170,000 websites have something to say on the subject.
As we all get sucked in to the internet sometimes when doing searches, I started clicking and reading a few of the thoughts from around the world on just how repulsive fat people are. Everything from pity to the suggestion that we be rounded up and put in to camps until we are thin was suggested.
All this reading was making my head spin and I had to just stop looking and ask myself the very personal question, being a fat person myself, “Do fat people repulse me?”? My mind scrolled over the really big people I have encountered personally on my journey to get fit. Repulsion never entered in to my thoughts but feeling sorry for someone who tells me that they don’t know where to start hits home.
Unless you have avoided a movie because your butt won’t fit into a seat or said no to going to a cafe to have lunch when you were hungry due to the small size of the chairs, you won’t know where I’m coming from. The toughest part of being fat for someone like me who had weighed 440 pounds at my heaviest, is the way that the world looks at you.
People didn’t look through me or treat me like I was invisible. They looked like I was the fat lady who had escaped from the circus and they were getting a teaser for free. This does horrible things to your self esteem and when you think that we do this to ourselves, there is a lot of self loathing going on.
The bottom line is, fat people do NOT repulse me. Of course, I’m not comfortable enough in my own skin to say that is true for how I feel about myself. Perhaps someday.
By Priscilla Houliston – Author of Little Changes