Did You Know
Now, to be completely clear, the very first thing you don’t want to do to a young pregnant kid during her pregnancy, is believing that she is incapable of loving a man.
Teenage Daughter Pregnant? Keep Your Sanity with These Tips
How many of us, and how many of your children, have gotten pregnant during high school? How many of your friends’ children are getting pregnant everyday, and how many of them are teenagers? I would say the majority of them are, usually within the ages of 13-17, and however we deny to notice, it’s gotten to the point where it almost seems like a thing of the norm.
Teenage pregnancy is a common thing nowadays, yet our community still hesitates on how exactly to address this issue. What do you do? How do you make things better, or better stated, how do you not make things worse? Since freaking out seems to be the popular thing to do unfortunately, this is how we react. Instead of trying to make the best out of things, we show the worst side of us. Instead of staying sane, we go mad. Instead of doing the right thing, we blow it and do every possible thing wrong.. and in the process, we hurt the kid and we hurt ourselves even more, not merely for the fact that they didn’t bother to finish high school first or that they’ve completely ruined their future, but because of the fact that after the whole rampage we got absolutely nowhere.
Now don’t get me wrong, you are entitled to get angry. You have the right to feel so bad that you want to scream and pull your hair out. But baldness, my friend, does not happen to make things okay. So, give yourself some time to feel bad and flip out. Then, when you sure that you are done with your issues, it’s time to face your kid’s, just like the parent you really are, the parent you always want to be, and the parent that your child needs at this point.
Sometimes they say that if you talk the talk, you have to be able to walk the walk. And I agree with this, in order to know the depth of what you’re saying, you’ve got to have experience in the field, at least some little knowledge that will enable you to speak from the heart. So I’ll have you know, that this I write because I was sixteen when this happened to me.
I was a teenage mom, and I know that as you read this it doesn’t even shock you anymore. It happens everyday right? Teenage pregnancy, huh? What else is new?
Well, it wouldn’t hurt to listen to one more story about teenage pregnancy, told by a girl who went through it, and almost didn’t get through it.
Now, to be completely clear, the very first thing you don’t want to do to a young pregnant kid during her pregnancy, is get them believing that she is incapable of loving a man. It does sound wrong in every way I put it, but it’s a fact. It is their only reason why something like this happened to them, how they could have allowed for this to happen, and if you don’t believe that then they might as well not explain.
Adults tend to assume that because teens have less experience with love, that they do not know how to love. Wrong, because at their young age, they are the ones in this world who truly fall in love. They are the ones who have never experienced the pain of a relationship gone bad and so they love completely without fear.
But she’s just a kid? It’s just puppy love? No matter what your perception is, don’t make the mistake of not believing the child when she says she loved him, because most likely, she really did and even more than she’s letting you on.
Second most important thing to remember is that in this situation, the child feels alone and trapped. So basically, she is miserable. If the boyfriend is no longer with her, then she’s even worse and really hurting inside. By now, she knows it was a mistake and if she could turn back time she would have done things differently. There’s no need to keep repeating this to her. You just want her to learn her lesson? She has, and she will even more during labor.
So, give the kid the space she needs. She will be crying most of the time, and when she’s not, she’s just holding those tears back, so be a little considerate to her feelings and do try to keep that anger in. Her heart can only take so much pain.
Nobody is on her side, even if that isn’t true, this is how she sees things. She made a mistake, now everyone hates her for it. She feels like a sinner, and everyone sees the horns on her forehead. It will indeed be a very long time before she starts seeing things the way they were again, probably years after childbirth, it depends on the environment she lives in. If you want to make this adjustment period easier on the child, stop being her enemy, and start being her friend.
Don’t get mad when you see her hiding, crying in the corner. This is one mistake you don’t want to do. You don’t want to say anything like “You brought this on yourself”, “I hope you learned your lesson now”, or “Stop crying for that no-good guy”.. Just walk away. This is one good example of not making things worse, just walking away. I know you’d probably also feel like comforting her, but the truth is, she doesn’t want you to know she’s crying. She doesn’t want anyone in her family to find out just exactly how much pain she’s going through. So carry on, and let her be.
Continue to love her. This is probably the most useless thing I’ve written in this article as everyone knows it doesn’t need mentioning, but it happens to be the most important aspect so I insist leaving it out. Only a parent’s love could help a teenage mom get through such an ordeal as this. Your guidance and continuous care will get her through anything. It will make her strong, it will help her face the trials at present and the ones that threaten to greet her in the future. She stumbled, now help her up.
It’s a really good idea to keep her busy. I don’t mean housework (with the pregnancy, she will probably be feeling a little lazy), but perhaps shopping? Shopping always cheers a girl up! Take her to the mall, it’s neat to keep her excited on the baby so I encourage you to shop for baby items. Baby clothes, diapers, bottles and the likes, these will surely cheer her up 100%. Even window shopping is just as good.
When I was pregnant, I had my father bring me a bunch of novels. Since he was an English professor, it wasn’t hard for him to do. I spent my nights reading books, and spent my days sleeping. This was my every day routine during my pregnancy. I read at nights because I couldn’t sleep (kept thinking of the guy), and I slept during the day because my eyes hurt from being curled up on a book all night long. It worked for me really well.
Forgive her. No matter what you do, don’t forget to forgive her. Everyone deserves a second chance, and your daughter is just as qualified for one.
If she’s no longer with the father of the baby she’s carrying, please refrain from bad-mouthing the boy. Just because they are no longer together doesn’t mean she no longer wishes for them to be. Talking ill about the father of her child is only going to hurt her. Yes, she probably hates him, but most likely she still loves him very much and if you think that by brainwashing her against the guy is going to convince her to stop loving him, I’m sorry to be the one to burst your bubble but that’s not exactly how things work and you should really know that being the adult and all.
So, hopefully my friends, these tips will make the transition easier for both you and your child. Don’t worry, because the storm will pass, and soon you will see the rainbow the storm left behind.